A Queen Mattress Abandoned in a Shopping Cart

For a while now, I’ve slept on that side of the bed that used to be yours.

Not even really on purpose I guess,

But it just made sense

in my new place because,

well, there is so much more room

on that side with the way

the furniture is arranged.

Plus, that side is close to the window,

So on the off chance a burglar

comes barreling through the door

I can make my escape.

You always slept near the door.

—

For a while now, I’ve slept in that rut you carved out for me.

Almost like you knew

your gravity would suck me in

long after you were gone.

I used to wonder how long

it would take me to fight my way

out of that trench you dug for me.

Maybe I’ll always be fighting.

Can a heart -

I mean a mattress -

ever really recover

from that much weight?

Or does it just learn to

distribute it?

—

For a while now, a new Queen mattress has sat in an internet shopping cart waiting for the final click.

I can’t seem to make myself do it.

We were going to get a King

for our first house,

remember?

Then I wonder

if that readied grave

you shoveled for me

night after night

might by the last fingerprint

of you in this space.

In my space.

I think you expected me to give up,

to roll into that grave

and let my fire extinguish

with the closing of the coffin lid.

Who needs a King anyways?

Click.